Developing Social Skills in Children: A Guide for Parents

by Joost Nusselder Updated on: August 18, 2023

Children develop from birth. One of the developments they undergo is the development of social skills. But how do they do that?

Children develop their social skills by playing with other children. In this way they learn to deal with conflicts and problems and learn to express their feelings. They also learn to deal with criticism and feedback.

In this article I will tell you all about how children develop their social skills.

A play theme in your mailbox every month?

Fun play tips, activity books and more, with the first email being our free mini-guide "educational toys"

Yes I want that!

We will only use your email address for this newsletter and respect your privacy

What are Social Skills?

Social skills are the skills children learn to get along with others. This involves the development of behaviour, communication and characteristics that ensure that children can express themselves, give their opinion and take others into account. It is important for children to develop these skills, because they can better deal with problems and present themselves better in a group.

The development of social skills starts from birth. For example, babies are already learning to express their feelings through crying or laughing. As children grow older, they learn more and more skills to get along with others. This often starts at home, where children learn to play together and help each other. They then also learn these skills at school and outside the door.

What kinds of social skills are there?

There are different types of social skills that children can learn. Below are some well-known examples:

• Listen to others and respect their opinion
• Have confidence and dare to be yourself
• Showing emotions and expressing feelings
• Dealing with criticism and feedback
• Collaborate and help each other
• Have a conversation and ask questions
• Considering others and their feelings
• Resolve conflicts and discuss issues

What is Albert Bandura's social learning theory?

Social learning theory, developed by Albert Bandura, is about how we learn by watching and imitating others. We see what others are doing, copy it and do it ourselves. This can happen when we see people in real life or on screens, such as television or the internet.

When we see someone doing something good or something we like, we are more likely to copy it too. This could be someone we know, such as family, teachers or friends, but also characters we see in stories or important people.

Our mind also plays a role. It helps us pay attention, remember and want to copy what we see. We think about whether we should copy something before actually doing it.

Sometimes we also learn when we see others being rewarded or something bad happening. For example, if we see a child being praised for sharing, we may also want to share.

This theory also says that we are influenced by the people around us and what happens in our environment. We influence the environment and the environment influences us. This shows that learning and behavior are always changing and interrelated.

According to a study by Rumjaun, A., & Narod, F. (2020), social learning theory acts as a bridge between behavioral and cognitive theories. The behavioral theory focuses on external behavior shaped by repetition and reward, while cognitive theories examine mental processes. Social learning theory combines these approaches.

In science education, it fits with activities such as collaboration, problem solving and observation, supporting the learning of scientific concepts. As a result, social learning theory connects learning with both behavior and thought processes.

How do children learn social skills?

Children mainly learn social skills by doing and experiencing. Children learn for example by playing, talking and working together. In addition, parents and adults close to the child can help by setting a good example and paying attention to the development of social skills. It is important to name and reward positive behavior in particular, so that children are encouraged to display this behavior more often.

How do children learn with social-emotional learning (SEL)?

Social Emotional Learning (SEL) is a methodology that helps children better understand emotions, feel emotions fully, show empathy, use learned behaviors to make positive and responsible decisions, create frameworks to achieve goals, and build positive relationships. build.

SEL is an important skill for students of all ages as it helps them understand and manage their emotions, which can help them perform better in school and in life. It can also help resolve conflicts and improve relationships.

Why social skills are important for children

Social skills are the skills children need to interact well with others. This involves learning to understand the feelings of others and being able to express one's own feelings and thoughts. Developing social skills is essential for a child's development and has a major impact on how the child will develop as a person.

Social skills help children to function better in society

Having good social skills makes it easier for children to connect with others and to adapt better to new situations. This is not only important for functioning within the group, but also for functioning in society as a whole. Children who are good at social skills often have more fun in life and find it easier to make friends.

Social skills help children solve problems

Children who are good at social skills often have fewer problems interacting with others. They know how to communicate and how to speak their mind without hurting others. As a result, they are better able to solve problems and avoid conflicts.

Social skills are naturally present but need to be developed

Social skills are naturally present in children, but need to be developed. It starts from infancy, when children learn to connect with others. Then they learn how to interact with others and how to express themselves. It is important to pay sufficient attention to this so that children can develop well in this area.

Social skills can be helped by parents and other adults

Parents and other adults can help children develop social skills. This can be done, for example, by setting a good example at home and involving children in daily activities. In addition, social skills can be helped by giving children space to express their own opinions and by keeping communication open.

Social skills have major effects on a child's future

Developing good social skills has major effects on a child's future. Children who are good at social skills often have more self-confidence and are better able to find their own way in life. This makes them more likely to succeed in the future and lead a happier life.

Please take the time to read and understand why social skills are so important to a child's development. The bottom line is that developing good social skills is an important part of a child's development and helps them become a great person.

Important social skills for your child

An important social skill for your child is the ability to play and interact with others. This means your child is learning to consider the needs of others and to work together to achieve a common goal. It is important that your child learns to deal with different personalities and that it learns to deal with situations in which it disagrees with others.

Recognizing and expressing feelings

Another important social skill is the ability to recognize and express feelings. Your child learns to understand his or her own feelings and to recognize the feelings of others. This will help your child communicate better and resolve conflicts.

Understand rules and standards

Your child also learns to understand and follow rules and norms. This means that your child learns to understand what is and what is not acceptable behavior and to understand why certain rules exist. It is important that your child learns to take responsibility for his or her own behavior.

Active listening and communicating

Another important social skill is the ability to actively listen and communicate. This means that your child learns to listen to others and to communicate his or her own thoughts and feelings in a clear way. It is important that your child learns to be open to the ideas of others and to communicate respectfully.

Solve problems

Your child also learns to solve problems. This means that your child learns to come up with solutions for unpleasant situations and to implement these solutions. It is important that your child learns to think creatively and to work together to find solutions.

Positive self-image and self-confidence

An important social skill is developing a positive self-image and self-confidence. This means that your child is learning to value himself and to believe in his or her own abilities. It is important that your child learns to accept himself as he or she is and to learn from mistakes.

Dealing with differences

Your child also learns to deal with differences. This means that your child learns to respect others, regardless of their background, culture or beliefs. It is important that your child learns to be open to other perspectives and to learn from others.

How does your child develop social skills?

Social skills are important for your child's development. It starts with the baby, who learns to recognize and show emotions. By talking and playing with your baby every day, he or she learns to deal with feelings and emotions.

Learn social skills through play

Play is an important part of developing social skills. Your child learns how to interact with others through play. By playing together, your child learns to take others into account and to take turns.

Exemplary behavior and rules

Your child learns a lot from your exemplary behavior. If you interact positively with others, your child will adopt this behavior. In addition, rules are important for the development of social skills. By setting rules and explaining them, your child learns what is and what is not acceptable behavior.

Dealing with emotions and setting boundaries

It is important that your child learns to deal with emotions and learn to set boundaries. By regularly talking about feelings and emotions, your child learns how to deal with them. In addition, it is important that your child learns to set boundaries and respect them.

Social skills in primary school and daycare

At primary school and daycare, your child learns how to deal with different situations and groups. Here your child learns how to deal with quarrels and friendships. It is important that your child learns to communicate and cooperate with others.

Ingredients for successful social skills

To develop successful social skills, the following ingredients are important:

• Positive and clear communication
• Be considerate of others
• Emotional control
• Define borders
• Respect for others
• Partnerships

Dealing with difficulties

Sometimes your child may have difficulty developing social skills. This may be due to shyness or lack of certain skills, for example. It is important to pay attention to this and to help your child with this. Social skills training can help with this.

Social skills problems in children

Children can have problems developing social skills for a variety of reasons. Here are some possible causes:

• Lack of social interaction: Children who don't play a lot with other kids or don't spend much time in group settings may struggle to develop social skills.
• Behavioral problems: Children with behavioral problems, such as ADHD or autism, may have difficulty recognizing social cues and following rules.
• Shyness: Some children are naturally quiet and find it difficult to connect with others.
• Negative experiences: Children who have experienced unpleasant social situations may be reluctant to engage in new social situations.
• Lack of parental involvement: Parents who pay little attention to their children's social development can contribute to social problems.

How can you help as a parent?

As a parent, you can help your child develop social skills. Here are some tips:

• Encourage social interaction: Encourage your child to actively participate in social activities at school and in the community.
• Set a good example: Show your child how to interact with others in a positive way.
• Pay attention to your child's needs: Take the time to listen to your child's feelings and help him or her express them.
• Provide information and control: Explain what happens in social situations and give your child control over how he or she reacts to it.
• Help your child learn how to handle different situations: Teach your child how to handle different situations, such as arguments or bullying.
• Take Small Steps: Build your child's social skills slowly, starting with small interactions and moving on to larger ones.
• Give your child a hand: Help your child make new friends by introducing him or her to other children.

It is important to remember that developing social skills takes time and is not always easy. But with enough attention and guidance, children can learn to get along and build positive relationships.

Difficult children: what can you do?

Some children have more difficulty than others in developing their social skills. This can manifest itself in problems in getting along with others, such as finding it difficult to make friends or getting angry quickly with others. In this article you can read what you can do as a parent if your child has social problems.

Recognize problems

It can sometimes be difficult to recognize if your child has social problems. Roughly speaking, you can say that children who are introverted or have few friends are at greater risk of social problems. Children who get angry easily or hit others can also have problems getting along with others. If you suspect that your child has social problems, it is wise to discuss this with the school or a partner in care.

Training and assistance

There are various training courses and forms of help to increase children's social skills. For example, there are social skills training courses in which children learn how to behave in social situations. It can also help to talk to a professional about your child's problems and make agreements together about how to deal with this.

Tips for parents

As a parent, you can also do a number of things yourself to increase your child's social skills. Below you will find a number of tips:

• Make agreements with your child about how to behave in social situations.
• Practice with your child how to react to certain situations.
• Increase your child's social skills by letting them play with other children.
• Discuss your child's problems with the school and make agreements about how to deal with them.
• If necessary, talk to a professional about how you can best help your child.

Social Skills Training: How Can They Help Develop Your Child's Social Skills?

Social skills training is a program specifically designed to help children develop their social skills. These trainings focus on learning and practicing behaviors that help children to interact better with others and to express themselves in different situations.

When is a social skills training suitable for your child?

Social skills training may be appropriate for children who have difficulty making friends, following rules and actively participating in group activities. It may also be suitable for children who have difficulty expressing their own feelings and dealing with the feelings of others.

What are some tips for finding a suitable social skills training?

• Look for workouts that are appropriate for your child's age and development.
• Ask for information about the content and costs of the training.
• Try out a training before enrolling your child.
• Ask for examples of situations where the skills learned can be applied.
• Pay attention to the experience and qualifications of the trainers.

Social skills training can be a big step in developing your child's social skills. Be well informed and look for a training that fits your child's needs.

Tips to increase your child's social skills

It is important to encourage your child to actively learn and discover. This can be done, for example, by playing together with other children or by letting your child participate in sports or other activities in which social interaction is central. This will teach your child how to interact with others and develop his or her social skills.

Set a good example

As a parent you are an important role model for your child. By being socially skilled yourself and by interacting positively with others, you set a good example for your child. This can help your child develop social skills themselves.

Dwell on feelings

It is important to consider your child's feelings and take them seriously. By talking about feelings, your child learns to recognize and express emotions. This can help you interact with others and solve social problems.

Provide rules and standards

It is important to teach your child rules and norms about how you interact with each other. This will teach your child what is and what is not acceptable behavior and how to deal with different situations. It is important to take into account the age and development of your child.

Help your child with social problems

If your child has trouble developing social skills or has problems getting along with others, it's important to get help. Try to find out together what the problem is and look for solutions together. It may also help to consult a professional, such as a child psychologist or social skills trainer.

Let your child practice

Practice makes perfect, even when it comes to social skills. Let your child practice social situations, for example by playing together with other children or by practicing having conversations. This way your child learns to deal with different situations and develops his or her social skills.

Create opportunities for social interaction

It is important to provide your child with opportunities for social interaction. This can be done, for example, by letting your child participate in activities in which social interaction is central, such as sports or other group activities. This allows your child to make new friends and further develop his or her social skills.

Take your child's needs seriously

It is important to take your child's needs seriously and respond to them. If your child needs rest or a moment to themselves, give them the space to do so. This will allow your child to focus better on social interactions and will make it easier to develop social skills.

Give positive feedback

Give your child regular positive feedback about his or her social skills. This makes your child feel stimulated and motivated to develop further. Emphasize what your child is doing well and give constructive criticism where necessary.

Get help with problems

If you notice that your child is having problems developing social skills or if you are concerned about your child's social development, seek help early. There are several professionals who can help you solve social problems, such as a child psychologist or a social skills trainer.

Child psychologist: the expert in developing social skills in children

A child psychologist is an expert in the development of children and young people. They specialize in understanding how children behave and how they develop socially, emotionally and cognitively. Child psychologists help children and young people deal with problems and challenges they encounter during their development.

What can a child psychologist do to develop a child's social skills?

A child psychologist can help develop a child's social skills in several ways. At this point you could think of:

• Laying a foundation: A child psychologist can help parents lay the foundations for the development of social skills in their baby or young child. This can be done, for example, by stimulating interaction between parent and child.
• Recognizing problems: A child psychologist can help identify social skills problems in a child. This could include recognizing times when a child behaves differently than normal.
• Determining the content of a course: A child psychologist can help determine the content of a social skills course. This takes into account the individual needs of the child.
• Having conversations: A child psychologist can help the child talk about their feelings and behavior. It uses creativity and new ideas to help the child understand themselves better.
• Involving parents: a child psychologist can involve parents in the development of their child's social skills. This could include giving advice and sharing knowledge about the development of children.
• Offering help online: a child psychologist can also offer help online. This can be useful for parents who are unable to come to a practice.

What are the benefits of using a child psychologist?

Engaging a child psychologist can have many benefits. At this point you could think of:

• Finding the right solution: A child psychologist can help find the right solution to the child's problem.
• Developing social skills: A child psychologist can help develop social skills in children and young people.
• Preventing dangerous situations: a child psychologist can help prevent dangerous situations that can arise as a result of certain behavior.
• Achieving Long-Term Goals: A child psychologist can help achieve long-term goals, such as developing self-confidence and making friends.
• Learning how to handle certain situations: A child psychologist can help you learn how to handle certain situations, such as dealing with bullying at school.
• Laying a good foundation: a child psychologist can help lay a good foundation for the development of social skills in children and young people.

Conclusion

It is important to help your children develop social skills. It is important to help them interact with others and to understand their behavior. It is important to help them deal with problems and to help them present themselves.

If you help your children develop social skills well, they will be able to present themselves better and express themselves better. It's important to help your kids develop social skills, and it's important to help them interact with others.

Joost Nusselder, the founder of Speelkeuze.nl is a content marketer, father and loves trying out new toys. As a child he came into contact with everything related to games when his mother started the Tinnen Soldaat in Ede. Now he and his team create helpful blog articles to help loyal readers with fun play ideas.